As Summer’s bounty fades, shadows lengthen and leaves begin to fall, I am reminded of the impermanence of all things. As Janice recently explained, Traditional Chinese Medical theory associates Autumn with the emotion of grief and the organs most impacted are the lungs and large intestine. This means you might be experiencing some tightness in your chest and finding it hard to take a deep breath. Or maybe your digestion has felt off lately as your elimination hasn’t been so regular. It’s possible these symptoms are simply arising as your body works to process and metabolize the feelings of loss and sadness that can surface at this time of year.
One of the best ways to care for ourselves this season is to create the space to honor whatever shows up for us emotionally. Many of us would rather numb our difficult feelings with a slice of cake or a romp on social media – which is entirely understandable. But the trouble with resisting emotion is that it begins to calcify and can, over time, lead to illness or dis-ease.
I’d like to share with you three talks that I’ve found nurturing during times of sadness and loss. They each offer a wise and comforting perspective on impermanence and I hope you find them supportive.
A short Meditation on Grief with mindfulness and meditation teacher Jack Kornfield.
“Grief is one of the heart’s natural responses to loss. When we grieve we allow ourselves to feel the truth of our pain, the measure of betrayal or tragedy in our life. By our willingness to mourn, we slowly acknowledge, integrate, and accept the truth of our losses. Sometimes the best way to let go is to grieve.” Jack Kornfield
Responding to change with a wise heart with psychologist, author and meditation teacher Tara Brach.
“This talk includes teachings and guided reflections that help us identify the ways we are reacting to major changes in our life. We explore how to shift from reacting to meeting impermanence with an allowing presence, and then responding to our circumstances with wisdom and compassion.” Tara Brach
The Myth of Closure. An On Being Conversation with Pauline Boss, a family therapist and professor emeritus at the University of Minnesota.
“There is no such thing as closure. In fact, Pauline Boss says, the idea of closure leads us astray. It’s a myth we need to put aside, like the idea we’ve accepted that grief has five linear stages and we come out the other side done with it. She coined the term “ambiguous loss,” creating a new field in family therapy and psychology. She has wisdom for the complicated griefs and losses in all of our lives and for how we best approach the losses of others.” Krista Tippett